Divorce is one of the most stressful times in a person's life. Stress affects the entire body, and its signs can be felt mentally, physically, and emotionally. Many people enter an unpleasant state as they go through such challenging times. Divorce is like a death as your left to pick up the pieces and move on without that person. It's okay to grieve the loss of your marriage, but you cannot let that grief overtake you. Here are some tips to help you deal with the strain of the process and get through the process stronger than before.
- Stay Positive
We live in a very negative world. It's hard to stay positive when you turn on the television and hear nothing but doom and gloom. When you add the world's events to the things going on in your life, it feels overwhelming. You don't have to walk around under a “black cloud” of sorrow. You can control your outlook on life by remaining positive.
It's normal to feel that you have nothing to live for, and your life is a mess. These are all common feelings that people experience when going through a separation. However, it's what you do with these down times that count. Some of the greatest things are birthed from tragedy. Lawyer Horatio G. Spafford lost his four children and his business in the Chicago fires of 1871. Yet, during this time of great sadness, he wrote: "It Is Well With My Soul," one of the most influential songs of all time.
You, too, can turn your unimaginable sorrow into something beautiful. Just stay positive and keep on the sunny side. No matter how many times life knocks you down, get back up!
- Get Counseling
You must prioritize your mental, emotional, and physical health during a time of loss. Counseling is one of the best things you can do for your overall health. A counselor is a third party that is on your side. Vent to them and tell them all the things your spouse did wrong. They can help you find ways to do things better in your next relationship. It's always better to have someone to talk to than to say something in front of children or mutual friends. A counselor is vital to help you keep your mental health in check. Don't be afraid to ask for help. It may be the only thing that gets you through this emotional upheaval.
- Practice Self Care
It's easy to pull the covers over your head and stay in bed for the day. However, you must force yourself to get up and act as if nothing happened. The world doesn't stop just because your marriage does. You need to ensure you eat healthy meals and get plenty of sleep as you continue with your daily life. So many times, clients are exhausted because they spend many sleepless nights worrying.
If you're not eating right, then you can have a horrible time trying to function. You owe it to yourself and your family to keep it together and take care of yourself. Treat yourself with a new haircut, new outfit, or something to lift your spirits. Try to think of this as a chance to start over instead of the end of things. Stress management involves self-care practices to keep you feeling great.
- Don't Get Bitter - Get Better
It's hard not to be bitter if you think that you've been done wrong. Bitterness can easily creep in when going through a divorce. However, you owe it to yourself not to allow those negative emotions to consume you. When there are feelings of resentment and anger between the divorcing couple, the effects can be felt by their children. You don't want your children to know there is animosity between you two.
You must learn to have a united front and work together for the sake of your kids. Be thankful for the good years, and you must learn to get past the bad ones. You can use this as a stepping stone in your life to heal. Additionally, having a good attorney by your side helps to ensure you get a fair and equitable split.
- Maintain Your Composure
Have you heard the saying, "Never let them see you sweat?" You don't want to fall to pieces every time you go to court or have any interaction with the other party. Sure, your emotions are all over the place, but they will use your tears as a weakness. No one wants to feel weak and vulnerable during this time. No matter how hard it hurts, always hold your head high and act calm, cool, and collected. Lean on your attorney as we can help you to know what to say and when to say it.
In many cases, you will need to get on the witness stand and defend hurtful or untruthful things that are being said about you and your marriage. Always keep eye contact with your legal counsel, and you should try to answer the questions without becoming emotional. It's hard to keep your emotions in check, but with a little practice, it can be done. In most instances, you should give a simple “yes” or “no” response.
Starting Over Again
The thought of starting over again is very overwhelming for some people. It's essential to use stress management skills to get through these difficult times. Sure, it's not easy ending a relationship, especially if it's one that has lasted for many years. However, self-care is essential. You should enlist the help of a counselor and an excellent attorney to have your back during the process. Never let stress get the best of you. You owe it to yourself and your children to keep going. Bottled up pressure can cause mental health issues, and you don't need that on top of your separation.