Healing after a divorce is difficult for both parties. When so many hurtful things have been said and done, it's hard to let go of grudges and treat your ex with the same level of respect that you used to.
When you have kids to take care of, it's important to try and maintain a healthy relationship with your ex so that you can figure out a suitable co-parenting plan together. Here are a few tips on how to have a healthy divorce and stay on friendly terms with your ex-spouse.
1. Maintain Honest and Effective Communication
You don't have to stay in contact with your ex right after divorce if it interferes with your healing process. But when you're dealing with kids, you need to maintain some form of communication to express your needs.
It's important to be clear about your motives from the get-go and set boundaries so that both of you can make things work without hurting each other. You need to be honest about how you're feeling and try to be a good listener.
You should take things slow and make sure to bury the hatchet for the sake of your kids.
2. Don't Get Your Children Involved
Instead of using your children as messengers to communicate with your ex, you need to leave them out of it. Co-parenting conflicts are a huge reason why it's so challenging for couples to make peace with each other post-divorce. It's not easy to hear the other person out if they're not considering your needs.
You need to prioritize your relationship with your kids over other relationships to make sure they're able to process the trauma of their parents splitting up. Instead of fighting over your kids, you need to work with your ex-spouse to help them recover from the after effects of your divorce.
3. Take Responsibility for Your Actions During the Marriage
Accepting responsibility for your actions during the marriage is a sign of maturity. However, it isn't easy, especially if your ex doesn't own up to their own mistakes either. It takes two to tango, so even if you think that your spouse is in the wrong, you might be to blame as well.
Whether it was your neglectful behavior or your emotional unavailability, you need to admit your mistakes and recognize where you fell short. This way, you and your ex-spouse can move forward amicably.
4. Consider Counseling
You can always try post-divorce counseling if you can't figure out how to maintain a civil relationship with your ex. It will be your chance to let everything you've been keeping to yourself out into the open. You can confront your ex about the hurtful things they may have said and try to understand where they're coming from.
Ending a marriage means you're starting a new chapter. You shouldn't let your past affect your chances of finding happiness again. As specialists in family law in Atlanta, we're here to help you. Contact us at (404) 963-9452 to schedule a consultation and let us take care of the legalities so that you can have a healthy divorce.